Dream- Day 8 of the Self-Care Challenge

I spent some time playing in my journal today. The Self-Care Challenge prompt for today inspired me to pull out my notebook and take some time to reflect on things lately.

I’m starting to process the intense feelings I’ve been experiencing after leaving Powell’s Books after years of working full-time, including going back after being laid off when the world shut down during the pandemic.

*Watercolor and ink in my journal. Also, glued some handmade paper I absolutely love. Check out the speed paint of the dragonfly on my Instagram page here.*

I quit last year in August and kind of buried my feelings and thought I was healing, but I still felt resentment, anger, and pain from my experience there. But, these last few months, I’ve been able to breathe and look back at everything with LESS anger haha

I still have a lot of feelings to process but I realize that my quitting allowed me to focus fully on school and my family. The circumstances surrounding the event that pushed me to quit without a 2 week notice still hurts, but I’m in such a better place now.

I stayed at Powell’s for so many years because I loved my work. I got to create art for the store, sell books, and was part of a team I was really proud of. But, it became increasingly obvious that the company doesn’t care about their union workers. There’s so much I want to say but that’s for another post.

At one point, I thought I would move up at Powell’s and retire there. I am so glad I decided to move on.

*A little rusty with the paint and journaling but I’m happy with out it came out. Aren’t I a cute little dumpling? Lol.*

The feeling of fulfilment I get when working in the fitness field is something I’ve never felt before. As a person in a bigger body living in a dominantly white community, I still feel like an outsider. However, the patrons at the recreation centers I’ve worked at in the last few weeks mirror me more than I thought they would. I feel welcome and respected, which is a feeling that definitely diminished the longer I worked at Powell’s Books.

I definitely feel like I’m on the right path. I feel like I’m moving toward my dreams and goals. At Powell’s, I felt suffocated and less-than. These days, I feel like anything is possible.

I feel hopeful and happy.